When entering a new relationship or when remaining in the same one for many years, you may get to a popular question. Why does my partner seem uninterested in sex? This is a question many people ask themselves over the course of their lives. The answer isn’t a one size fits all. There can be many reasons. Here are some of the most common ones for your consideration.
Lack of Connection
If you’ve been with the same partner for many years, sometimes the frequency with which you have sex diminishes. A lot of people will feel that this has something to do with their appearance. It’s easy to feel like you must have become less attractive when time takes its toll on you. The truth is, that’s rarely the problem.
Most people, when they find a partner, find them attractive. Even with the addition of age lines and a few extra pounds, they don’t usually stop thinking they’re attractive. They do, however, tend to feel a distance between them if they’re not connecting emotionally. Their attractiveness has nothing to do with it. They are mourning a sense of lost closeness. If you and your partner are having trouble connecting, you may want to look at some of our reconnection tips.
Lack of Trust
Connection is usually from a lack of communication and continued bonding. However, trust issues can come from other sources. For instance, if you’ve had a negative experience with your partner or feel they don’t listen to you when you ask them not to do certain things, it can sour the whole experience. People don’t want to have sex with a partner they feel they can’t trust to respect their needs and boundaries. If you feel you have trust issues with your partner, it might be time for some sex therapy to work out the problem. This can be a great opportunity for both partners to express their needs in a safe and structured environment.
Another thing that can cause trouble in your sex life is that your partner may have bad past experiences. People with a history of sexual abuse or assault can have a hard time being sexually vulnerable around partners. If you’re unsure of your partner’s history with other people, however, you can’t make assumptions. Having time together to talk about this kind of thing with a professional can make it easier for your partner to discuss any potential trauma they have that’s inhibiting them.
Did you know certain antidepressants – among other medications – can cause a huge loss in sex drive? This is a common cause for loss of sex in a a long-term partnership. Many people, as they get older, find themselves taking medications for their mental or physical health. Many of these can make you uninterested in sex. If your partner is on any medications, this could be a contributing factor. Talking to your partner about this, you may find they’re willing to discuss medication changes with their psychiatrist.
Talk to Your Partner
The most important thing you can do if you feel your partner is uninterested in sex is to talk to them. Nothing can change without some sort of communication. For some people, doing so with a professional is easier. If you’re interested in sex therapy in Toronto, give us a call. We can even do appointments over the phone or online for those who are practicing social distancing.