When’s the last time you talked to your partner about sex? And not just the few comments that popped up while in the bedroom? I mean an actual open, honest conversation? Chances are it’s been a while, or maybe hasn’t actually happened, ever. Sex is a vital part of any relationship, but why is it so hard to talk about? Let’s be blunt: it’s important to talk to your partner about sex. Here’s why.

Missed opportunities

Many people have preferences and wishes when it comes to sex. It could be a desire to try something new or do something differently. But your partner won’t know about it unless you tell them. And although you may feel awkward or embarrassed about it, remember that they probably have something they would like to try, too.

Yes, if your partner doesn’t bring up the topic of sex it may be up to you. But, the mutual learning experience could probably benefit the both of you. So, the next time you’re eager to try something, dive in and have a conversation. You might be pleasantly surprised by the outcome!

Enjoyment

Do you enjoy sex with your partner? Hopefully, the answer is yes. But for a lot of people, it’s actually no. How many times has it happened when a friend, or maybe even yourself, has broken up with someone and then casually inserted the comment, the sex wasn’t that great? There are a lot of reasons for sexual dissatisfaction, but some of them can be overcome with a conversation with your partner.

You probably want to enjoy sex with your partner. If you aren’t, think about why this is the case and then talk to your partner about sex. Yes, you might be a bit nervous about it. Try to frame your conversation as a goal in mutual satisfaction, instead of playing the blame game. Partners that care about the other person in a relationship usually want to work towards that satisfaction. Sex can be a win-win event.

Deeper connection

Sex is a way to connect both the body and the mind. It means lowering your guard and trusting the person you are with. Talking about sex might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but it’s another way to create or deepen your connection. If you’re in for the long haul with this person, try discussing your most intimate moments with them.