Having children is an amazing process, one that drastically changes your life. Whether you’re a new mother who is coming to grips with her changed body and life, or a supportive parent navigating the perils of parenthood, finding a way back to the bedroom can be tough. But, with a bit of work and a lot of communication, it is possible.
Depending on the pregnancy and labor, your partner may have a lot of physical issues she is dealing with. It’s important to go at her pace. Her body has been through a lot and she needs to be comfortable rediscovering it. Vaginal tearing from labor or split abdomen muscles from pregnancy are all common and the body needs a chance to heal. At the same time, if it seems like the healing process is taking longer than expected, be sure to consult your doctor or midwife. There may be more serious complications you’re not aware of that may need medical attention.
After a long day of parenting and sometimes an even longer night of constant wakeups, it can be hard to find a moment of peace. And when that moment of peace arises, sleep is often the preferred activity. Sometimes you need to schedule a bedroom date. While nothing should ever be forced, agreeing upon a time to reconnect in the bedroom means that you’re more likely to make time, both physically and emotionally.
Talking about when you would like to get back in the bedroom also opens the dialogue for the subject. Your partner might not be aware of how you are feeling, or what your needs are. Perhaps a bit more shared duties are needed.
Along with bedroom dates, schedule a date night where the both of you can reconnect emotionally and enjoy yourselves. Date nights can occur both in and out of the home. For example, you can play a board game or a video game together or cook and eat a delicious meal together.
It is also important to schedule time for yourself where you can take time to partake in a pleasurable activity, connect with friends, or relax and enjoy yourself.
Once you’re ready to return to the bedroom, be sure to acknowledge that it will be different. A major change has happened, both physically and emotionally, and you may need to take extra time to rediscover each other. Go slow, communicate openly, and really listen to each other. The more respectful you are, the easier it will be to get back in the groove.
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