Each person has their own way of communicating, and long distance really exacerbates these differences. While some people rely more on body language, texting, or actions to get their points across; long-distance greatly limits the use of any means of communication besides words. This can be difficult for newer couples who are still getting a feel for their partners, or for people who rely a lot on non-verbal communication. It can also be frustrating because people often have different needs when it comes to the amount of communication. My advice is partners should always be as explicit as possible to get their points and emotions across. With free voice and video chat being an option, having long video calls while you’re relaxing at home is also a great way of keeping in touch.
Absence of tangible support:
Being able to hug someone gives a great sense of support and comfort to both partners in a couple. Being apart makes this impossible; but physical contact isn’t the only way of demonstrating support. Since you’ll spend less time communicating with your partner in long distance, make sure to stop anything your doing while you talk and give each other 100% of your attention. Communicating your feelings and experiences is important, but listening is just as important. A basic tip in any kind of communication is always giving your partner feedback on what they said, so they can know you’re listening carefully and ready to support them. It takes a lot of effort to maintain the same level of communication over a long-distance relationship, which is why successful couples are always using instant messaging to keep in touch during the day, and have long video or voice chats during their personal time.
Long-distance is a “trial by fire” for most couples (and people). If they succeed they become much closer and stronger, but if they fail they’ll never want to repeat the experience again. Many people suffer from doubt and even jealousy, and long-distance does these people no favors. Couples that succeed at this often have a lot of trust in each other before being separated, and while apart put a lot of effort into maintaining and strengthening that trust. Always be detailed when telling your partner about your day and experiences so that they never get surprised by something “unexpected”, which may cause them to feel doubt or jealousy. Also taking your time to visit each other frequently and taking turns going to eachothers’ homes is a great way of strengthening this trust. When your partner can imagine you in your room, or imagine what your day-to-day is like because they’ve visited, they can feel much more confidence and have less leeway to imagine circumstances that may make them doubtful.
Sex is the most difficult problem of long-distance relationships. Some people have a very active sex drive and have go to through great lengths, or learn new coping techniques to deal with spending prolonged time away from their partners. Many failed couples list this a reason things went awry, but in many cases there were contributing factors. While sex does become less frequent when you can’t see each other, when you actually do meet you may discover those less frequent encounters have become much more spicy. The time spent abstaining can be difficult, but it only increases the release from being able to see eachother again. Most couples that have this issue learn how to handle the symptoms themselves while alone, and make sure to see eachother consistently. By consistently i don’t mean every week, but at least once every two weeks. Making your partner hold out for an extended period of time can be difficult, especially since we can’t control our bodies’ urges, but only how we act on them. Some people are uncomfortable talking about sex, or getting steamy over voice chat, but finding means of coping with these natural urges is a must!These points are something you should keep in mind if you ever find yourself in a similar situation. It’s not easy to go through the make-or-break trial of long-distance, but if you succeed you know you’ve found someone special.
SEX THERAPY IN TORONTO BY ESTHER BENBIHY CAN BE REACHED AT 647-295-5935